Pages Thirteen, Fourteen and Fifteen

It's taken me a bit longer to get through this than I'd hoped, but here are the next three pages. I'm still not happy with the pacing and action of this scene; I think it feels a bit clunky. I'm nearing the end of the first issue and I'm pretty much on track (single issues of comics are traditionally 22 pages long), but I might end up going back and tightening up some of these last few pages to allow more breathing room at the end for the cliffhanger. We'll see. Anyway, here are the next three pages:



PAGE THIRTEEN (four panels)

Panel 1. We’re tighter on CAMPBELL now, who we see behind the counter, dumping gasoline across the teller counter. He is looking over his shoulder back at GUY, who is still kneeled in front of the door.

CAMPBELL:
Give me the word and I’ll torch it!

Panel 2. GUY, kneeled in front of the door, which now has a strategically placed charge of C4 on/near the deadbolt.

GUY:
Now THIS is the way to use of C4! You might want to take a few steps back for this one…

Panel 3. A nice panel of the charge being triggered, blowing the door open.

GUY:
Hit it, Campbell!

Panel 4: Medium shot of CAMPBELL dropping a lit match to the counter. We see GUY in the background gathering his gear and WAYNE headed toward the door.

WAYNE:
60 seconds!


PAGE FOURTEEN (three panels)

Panel 1. The boys entering the newly blown open door, still smoking. Inside the door is a set of stairs leading to the second level of the bank. We see flames in the foreground, engulfing the teller counter, quickly spreading.
NO DIALOGUE

Panel 2. The boys in the stairwell, rounding the first flight, headed up the second, which will lead them to the second floor.

NO DIALOGUE

Panel 3. The boys running through the 2nd floor door, clearly marked inside the stairwell.

WAYNE:
90 seconds!


PAGE FIFTEEN (four panels)

Panel 1. We’re inside the second floor with the boys now, which is filled with cubicles and desks. We see an office in the back, which has large glass panels for walls with the blinds closed; think of Michael’s office on, well, The Office. We see CAMPBELL pointing toward the office.

CAMPBELL:
There!

Panel 2. The boys are in front of the office now. WAYNE has his gun drawn, pointed toward the glass panels that make up the front office wall.

WAYNE:
No need for theatrics in here.

Panel 3. WAYNE firing 4-5 shots, knocking out the glass panels, clearing an entryway for them into the office.

NO DIALOGUE

Panel 4. Here we see the boys entering the office. Behind a desk we see a stack of 5 or so cardboard boxes, all about 10x10x10, taped up and prepped for shipping, labels and all.

CAMPBELL:
Behind the desk, just where they’re supposed to be…

WAYNE:
Just over two minutes. We gotta get cookin.

 
Thanks for reading and stay tuned,
-Aaron J.